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The Amazing Adventures of Flak

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The Amazing Adventures of Flak

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:31 pm

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:31 pm

:badgrin: :badgrin:
Last edited by KingCrazyGenius on Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Alar on Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:13 pm

Unread postby Alar » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:13 pm

I take it that this is an open forum for writing about Flak? If so, that is a wonderful idea, and I believe we must all write at least one story about Flak.
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:42 pm

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:42 pm

I suppose so. Each story must be told in episodic format, and there should be little or no connection between episodes (unless it is a two-parter). However, corrolation is acceptable (Flak should retain his heat vision).

Each episode must also begin with a rambling preamble, just as mine was.
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Re: The Amazing Adventures of Flak

Unread postby Flak on Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:21 pm

Unread postby Flak » Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:21 pm

KingCrazyGenius wrote: (and between Home Ec and Shop class)


God, I wish I could have cool classes like that. As it is, I'm stuck in some retarded Publishing for the WWW class taught by some middle-aged dork. Wait, did I say "taught"...? Whoops.

KingCrazyGenius wrote:Flak feigned illness and was promptly returned home, where he spent the rest of his day watching parodies of the third season of Digimon.


Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

Alar wrote:If so, that is a wonderful idea, and I believe we must all write at least one story about Flak.


Hey, make a compilation. I'll add it to the main site ;)

KingCrazyGenius wrote:However, corrolation is acceptable (Flak should retain his heat vision).


Just out of pure curiosity, how exactly did you decide on my power/ one of my powers being heat vision? I have to say, it's kind of cool.

Anyway, I for one was greatly entertained by the piece. You know me fairly well, KCG.
Last edited by Flak on Fri May 04, 2007 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Flak wrote:annual rice tax!
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:00 pm

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:00 pm

I forget what made me give you heat vision, but I knew once I thought of it that it had to be done. Flak without heat vision just wouldn't be the same.

Glad you liked it.
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:43 pm

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:43 pm

:badgrin: :badgrin:
Last edited by KingCrazyGenius on Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Flak on Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:24 pm

Unread postby Flak » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:24 pm

Wow. Just wow.

But KCG, there's a major flaw in this latest installment.

Beds? Why the hell would there be beds in the house? Everyone knows that REAL Asians don't sleep. As a Singaporean friend of mine named tj han put it, "azns dont slp".
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Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk on Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:38 pm

Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:38 pm

Some legends tell of a young man known primarily by the moniker Flak. These legends are rather obscure and little-known, but that's because Flak is still alive, and everyone knows living people can't be properly biographed. And everyone else knows that all good legends end with the legee either dying or living happily ever after, and Flak doesn't have an ever after to happily live in.

Flak and the Strange Music

Flak was once walking through the hallways of the schooling facility at which he attended. As he passed an open class-place door, he heard a lilting tune from within.
"Lo!" he exclaimed. "That tune is lilting! And lilting is the verb form of lily! Clearly there must be yuri about!"
So saying, Flak leapt into the class-place, drawn by the lilting promise of PHLAGs within. The first thing Flak felt within was an intense cold; he looked up to see snow falling from the ceiling. Not being one to enjoy cold, Flak melted the snow with his heat vision. He heard a horrible angry yell from his side and glanced over to find none other than Fred Gallagher, looking at a pair of now-rather-damp and thoroughly upset little girls.
"These sad girls are no longer in snow!" Fred yelled in disgust. "How can I possibly draw them now!?'
Flak saw the girls--neither could be older than nine. His hidden loli powers activated, Flak destroyed Fred Gallagher's mind with his incredible latent psychic powers and took the little girls home.

To, um, their own homes.

Otherwise it would be awkward.

When their parents saw their little girls in the arms of a scary hobo-type man with a scraggly beard, they panicked and called the loli police. Flak turned tail and ran, using his Loli Acceleration to evade capture. He made it home exhausted and spent a full week watching Kanon 2006 to recuperate.

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Unread postby Flak on Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:44 pm

Unread postby Flak » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:44 pm

God damn- I'll let it off the hook this time because it was damn funny, but please don't let this thread degenerate into "let's make fun of Flak and call him a lolicon". One such comment, done in passing, is plenty to give the episode great flavor.

More than that and you just start pissing me off :(
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Unread postby Alar on Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:03 pm

Unread postby Alar » Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:03 pm

That last one was quite loliriffic! :D I also quite enjoyed KCG's latest episode. Quite!
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Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk on Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:08 pm

Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk » Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:08 pm

In the days of yore, a young man named Flak roamed the internets. He roamed them far and wide, discovering many horrificatory things, and destroying them with his incredible mental prowess. Also, this one time, he wrote a story, and it was neato.

Flak and the Magical Card

On a particularly dreary day, Flak was sitting in his clubhouse. His club was the chess club, and it was the club all other clubs desired to be. Or rather, it would be, if it were a club at a Japanese school. As it was, it was a small club somewhere in gaijinland. He was sitting there looking at cards and handing them around to the other people around the table--his future opponents. He of course knew exactly what cards to pick, as he could see his opponents' cards reflected in their eyes, and knew what they had picken.
He found one card in particular, though, that boggled his mind. This was important as his mind was in need of a good boggling. Boggling is a terrifically educational game and it probably decreased his brain age by ten. But I digress.
This was no ordinary card. Oh no. This was a MAGIC MAGIC CARD. As Flak took the card in his hand, he felt a surge of power surge through him. He took on the attributes of the card and sucked up everyone's auras, and then exploded their heads and won the draft by default.
Unfortunately, now there was no one left to play with, so Flak wandered home in the rain using his magical direction finding skill.

The moral of the story is that when given the option, always be on top.

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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:22 am

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:22 am

:badgrin: :badgrin:
Last edited by KingCrazyGenius on Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Unread postby alarivana on Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:03 am

Unread postby alarivana » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:03 am

Once, approximately here, there was this guy Flak. Being an asexual teenage boy, obviously Flak did not lead the most normal of lives, or have the most normal of friends. There was nothing unusual about his high school, though. There, every day, he spent at least seven hours, toiling uselessly in its prison-like buildings.

Flak and the Friendly Mormons
(based on a True Story, & guest starring the author as the lover of yellow hats)

On a rather sunny Tuesday once when he had, in fact, spent eight hours at school, Flak was walking home. Beside him strode his friend and companion, and the owner of the affections of his hat. She, too, was walking home, though her home lay in an entirely different direction.

The were walking in peaceful, friendly silence, occasionally talking of nonsense, cats, lesbians, and other such mutual interests, when suddenly a smiling woman greeted them very politely. But her politeness was really only a mask over her true evil intent. Within seconds she was asking, “Have you ever been to the Mormon Temple?”

Horrified, Flak and his companion made quiet whimpering noises, which the woman interpreted correctly as “no.” She gasped in false horror, “Never? Well, you must go there!” As she said this, another Mormon woman snuck up behind the two friends. Sensing he was surrounded, Flak reacted instinctively, lashing out with his heat vision. Both Mormons fell over, seemingly dead, and Flak turned to continue walking home.

It was then that the vampiric Mormons struck. Flak was lifted of the ground, a vampire Mormon attached to his jugular artery, when suddenly the vampire dropped him lightly and spat out a mouthful of blood. Retching, it fell to the ground, for Flak’s blood was very bad for all involved, as well as lacking in flavor. The other vampire, heedless of the direct sunlight, was closing on Flak’s friend.

“We’re Jews,” she cried, in a desperate attempt to fend it off.
“Really?” said the vampire Mormon. “Oh, I’m sorry. Have a nice day.” So saying, she left, dragging her poisoned companion over the sidewalk. Flak looked at his friend in confusion and blood loss.
“Why’d you say that?” He asked, applying pressure to the bite wound on his neck.
As she made an impromptu dressing from the sleeve of Flak’s shirt, she replied, “It’s true… kinda… and it worked, didn’t it?”

Flak could not deny that it had worked, and his neck had mostly stopped bleeding, so he turned and walked home, and his friend set off for her own home, in the opposite direction.
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Unread postby Kefka on Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:50 am

Unread postby Kefka » Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:50 am

I like the fact that he murders pretty much everyone he comes into contacts with. Well, minus the vampires. And his friend. And bavarian waitress.
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:53 am

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:53 am

I don't know what is most surprising; that Mormons exist in California, that women walk, or that Flak owns a yellow hat.
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Unread postby Flak on Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:52 pm

Unread postby Flak » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:52 pm

I know it's shocking that I have a yellow hat, but seriously, those Californian Mormons are a force to be reckoned with.
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Unread postby Alar on Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:11 pm

Unread postby Alar » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:11 pm

I still have no ideas for this. Hopefully something will come to me soon.

Yellow hats are the new black hats this year.
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Unread postby Flak on Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:30 pm

Unread postby Flak » Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:30 pm

Alar wrote:Yellow hats are the new black hats this year.


That didn't make me laugh. The idea of something coming to you, on the other hand, did.
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Unread postby Alar on Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:44 pm

Unread postby Alar » Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:44 pm

Flak wrote:That didn't make me laugh. The idea of something coming to you, on the other hand, did.

Your words hurt me, Flak. They hurt me deeply. :(
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Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk on Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:10 am

Unread postby GheoFabulousDuk » Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:10 am

I have a quality idea, I just haven't been able to find the time to type it up. It's going to be excellent.

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Unread postby Flak on Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:50 am

Unread postby Flak » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:50 am

Dude, it's a story about me. It can't be "quality."
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:43 am

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:43 am

:badgrin: :badgrin:
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Unread postby Alar on Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:42 pm

Unread postby Alar » Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:42 pm

Rofflesox. This one made me laugh, even before I near-automatically figured out who the Faux-Flak was. And when I say laugh, I mean quite a bit.

Thanks KCG, for recognizing me as the loli I really, truly am. And is it me, or does Flak roxx?
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Unread postby alarivana on Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:33 pm

Unread postby alarivana » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:33 pm

...studio audiences don't get within a mile of Berkeley, silly people. There's probably even a city ordinance against it, like shopping malls and department stores.

Otherwise, that was great.
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Unread postby KingCrazyGenius on Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:42 am

Unread postby KingCrazyGenius » Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:42 am

I make a point of knowing as little as possible about the place as possible. It makes for better writings.
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