Before Meeting God – TOH Chapter 12

If you have not read any Tundra of Heroes before, check this post out anyway. This new writing stands on its own, though it benefits from a reading of previous material. Be sure to read the release notes before the chapter, even if you’re familiar with Tundra of Heroes! Happy Halloween!

To those who’re unfamiliar with Tundra of Heroes: welcome. You might be Night Switch readers—this is very different from Night Switch. It’s “serious business.” Installments will be longer and less frequent. There will be fewer if any anime references and internet culture jokes. Though this is less “fun” than Night Switch, I like to think it’s still entertainment, so I would encourage you to read it. As already mentioned, this new content (a new chapter of Tundra of Heroes) benefits from a reading of previous material (the prologue, chapters one through ten, and what was formerly the “epilogue”). However, it doesn’t depend on it. There are references to things mentioned previously, but they are not integral.

If you haven’t read Tundra of Heroes before, you should! But if you don’t have time to read eleven chapters now, just go with this for now.

To those who are familiar with ToH: welcome back. Those of you who voiced opinions about the story said stuff along the lines of “I hope there’s more.” Well, now you get your more, after nine and a half months or so. I’m treating the epilogue as a “Chapter 11″ for numbering purposes. This Chapter 12, though, is not a continuation of Jeuni’s story—it’s the beginning of two other stories set in the same world, which ultimately will tie in with Jeuni’s story. Here’s the confusing part: they both take place before Jeuni’s story, and they take place at different times. Have fun choking on the back-and-forth and confusion ;)

To everyone reading this post: thank you for being here. I’m trying something I have not tried before (Night Switch switches perspectives, but so far all action has been chronologically linear). Before you read this, I will give you a little cheat-sheet:

1. chapters 1-10 will henceforth be referred to as “Jeuni’s story”
2. the first half of this chapter takes place approximately 70 years before Jeuni’s story
3. the second half of this chapter takes place just about 27 years before Jeuni’s story

That’s all I’m offering for now; the setting and state of the world in the two different stories should be revealed over time as you read more. Also, I intend to get my act together and offer supplementary material alongside the text—maps, art, etc. There won’t be anything at first, but there will be more than just text. I want to leverage more media in order to present the connections between the three different stories.

Enjoy, and please comment—I’m going to need a lot of feedback as I get back into writing this more “serious” stuff.

"Before Meeting God – TOH Chapter 12" was posted by on Friday, October 31st 2008. This post is categorized Tundra of Heroes and tagged , .

10 thoughts on “Before Meeting God – TOH Chapter 12

  1. It certainly sets up the next installment; I’m eager to find out more about what Snow is excavating, and about Tomora’ sudden rise (captain, in my book anyway, is a pretty low ranking, far below ‘commander’. Is this intentional?).

    No major arguments about style or content.

    Not sure about the use of ‘ironic’ in
    “a satisfyingly ironic use of the ceremonial short sword”

    All in all, a very intriguing installment.

  2. @Karamazov:

    (captain, in my book anyway, is a pretty low ranking, far below "commander". Is this intentional?)

    Yep, it’s intentional, the idea being that he has served Byhr extremely well. There will be more on that in further chapters.

    Not sure about the use of "ironic" in
    "a satisfyingly ironic use of the ceremonial short sword"

    Hmm. What I was going for was the idea that his “ceremonial short sword” is in some way connected to his status and rank and that it’s a symbol of his service. As Brother Goul is a representative of the religion that is the backbone of the Holy Empire of Byhr, it would be ironic for Goul to be killed with that symbol.

    Maybe ironic isn’t the right word? It made sense to me at the time, but now I’m unsure.

    All in all, a very intriguing installment.

    Hurray! Glad you liked it :)

    There will be more in the future, hopefully.

  3. I see what you were getting at with the sword, but it still doesn’t quite jazz with me. I never give ‘ironic’ the benefit of the doubt, since it’s misused so often. I admit I can’t think of an alternative, though.

  4. Hmm. I generally dislike seeing “ironic” used, myself. Worse comes to worst, I can blame the use of “ironic” on Tomora’s character (as it’s his thought). I couldn’t think of a better word… I’m of course open to suggestions, but yeah. :P

  5. Wow.

    Really, wow. After reading the first bit, and going on to the next, I was relatively sure that I was going to like the first Intra story better, but now I’m intrigued. The return of Ynthon in what (appears) to be an earlier point in time for him will be neat. I’d never thought of following him as a main character before, and this opens up a lot of options.

    I liked it! Sorry I didn’t comment when I read it the first time through, but I was in a hurry.

  6. Hahaha! I’m glad you liked both parts. When I wrote the first bit, I stalled for a couple days. I wasn’t sure how I would make the second part as interesting. I like to think I succeeded in the end… ;)

    And yes, this is Ynthon in the past. See my release notes:

    3. the second half of this chapter takes place just about 27 years before Jeuni’s story

    I’m also glad you didn’t say “moar plz,” since that “moar” is already up. :P

  7. Sorry it took me so long to write up comments on this. It was really good. Really good. So it was hard coming up with much to say.

    I found it a tiny bit strange the quick change in Intra’s tone from indifference to chuckling, at the beginning of the first dialog. Jeld’s “I bet you’re excited” also doesn’t feel quite right if its not responding to something other than a shrug.
    Maybe she was just trying to cheer him up, and he was trying to play along? He is shrugging again a moment later
    Maybe he’s just really really tired.
    The rest of side a was totally great. Maybe a couple words here or there could be changed, but no other interesting comments.

    The cleric’s shift from ‘tone of a lecturer’ to ‘tone of a fearful devotee’ should have happened before he ‘sound[ed] earnestly afraid’, right?

    ‘thrid and final day of the twenty-third congress’ surprised me a bit. That’s a very short congress, and a rather small count of congresses for such short congresses, to fill the five decades that the old men have been growing moss. It also makes it stranger that each commander gets one motion per congress.

    Overall the writing of side B wasn’t quite as clean as A. A few things- the shutters are ‘beautifully decorated’ two paragraphs after being ‘ornately carved’. The way it is written seems to imply the battle scene depictions are decorations distinct from the ornate carvings, which seemed a bit odd.
    “not even a speck” -> “no speck” and I don’t think ‘observed’ is quite the right word there.
    “almost salivated” -> “salivated” no reason to hedge that
    “chatter amongst” isn’t right
    But listing out such things is extremely tedious and uninteresting, and entirely unsuitable to my character.

    Parting shot***thought
    So far, I think these stories are taking place at the same time, and expect that somehow there will be a collision course between the characters, though they seem to be facing in opposite directions. In the context of the spoilers in news post, I guess I look forward to learning for what good reason this is incorrect.

  8. Maybe she was just trying to cheer him up, and he was trying to play along? He is shrugging again a moment later
    Maybe he’s just really really tired.

    Pretty much.

    The cleric’s shift from ‘tone of a lecturer’ to ‘tone of a fearful devotee’ should have happened before he ’sound[ed] earnestly afraid’, right?

    I think you misread that sentence.

    ‘thrid and final day of the twenty-third congress’ surprised me a bit. That’s a very short congress, and a rather small count of congresses for such short congresses, to fill the five decades that the old men have been growing moss. It also makes it stranger that each commander gets one motion per congress.

    I’m not sure where you’re getting five decades. Look at the first paragraph of Side B. The shutters of the building have been shut for twenty-three years. This is the twenty-third congress. They’re yearly. And yes, they’re short and poorly structured. If it surprises, does it surprise enough to make you wonder anything?

    It’s intentional.

    A few things- the shutters are ‘beautifully decorated’ two paragraphs after being ‘ornately carved’. The way it is written seems to imply the battle scene depictions are decorations distinct from the ornate carvings, which seemed a bit odd.
    “not even a speck” -> “no speck” and I don’t think ‘observed’ is quite the right word there.
    “almost salivated” -> “salivated” no reason to hedge that
    “chatter amongst” isn’t right
    But listing out such things is extremely tedious and uninteresting, and entirely unsuitable to my character.

    Made some changes. Thanks for all the notes. Listing out such things is helpful to me because I can’t catch every oddity myself, even if I reread the chapter five times with my editing glasses on.

    So far, I think these stories are taking place at the same time

    There are already hints in the text that they are not taking place at the same time, especially if you’ve read Jeuni’s story. There will be more in the future. As for why the stories are being told together, mostly it’s because I’m writing them together.

    Finally, there were no “spoilers” in the news post :P I gave a bit of info to the reader for use in reading this. I could have as easily put time stamps at the beginnings of the two sides. Same thing.

  9. Pingback Looking Back on 2008 :: Dreams of the Quill v5

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