Dreams of the Quill

It could be worse—Dr. Garch could be paving the way to Al Hazard with an army of cyborgs.

“Sure, my master,” answered El. Before the book could continue with a response, though, there was a scratching noise at Jason’s door.

“Who’s there?” Jason called out.

“The dachshund,” barked the dachshund. “Now let me in, already!”

“What should I do?” Jason whispered to El.

“That is your choice, my master.”

“Hurry up!” growled the dachshund. “Don’t make me tear this door off its hinges.”

“Is he capable of that?” asked Jason.

“Yes,” replied El.

“No choice, then,” sighed Jason, standing and walking over to the door. He opened it cautiously and the dachshund sauntered in.

“Good boy,” smiled the dachshund, and Jason didn’t feel like it was a compliment at all. “Now. I need to communicate with El here, so you’ll relay my questions to him.”

“Why not talk to him directly?” asked Jason, shutting the door and crouching down by the dog and book. “He’s right here.”

“You were present when I tried that, idiot. The book doesn’t listen to me.” The dog didn’t seem amused. “Can you not just do as I say?”

“No… harm in it, I suppose.”

“Great! Now. El, what happened to your previous owner?”

“El, what happened to your previous owner?” Jason echoed.

“The man to whom you refer had exceptional magic potential, but the wrong mindset for the job. I never accepted him as my master.”

“The man to whom—” Jason began, but the dachshund cut him off.

“Shut up, kid! I heard that just fine.” The dog seemed to ponder something for a moment. “Let me try that again. El, what happened to Marin?”

Jason repeated the question.

“The man to whom—” El fell silent as the dachshund’s eyes narrowed.

“Why couldn’t the Doctor program something to not be a piece of shit?” demanded the dog.

“Why—” began Jason but the dog gave him a quick kick to the shin.

“That was a rhetorical question, moron.” The dachshund paused. “At any rate, his failure to do so would explain his failure with I.F. … Alright. Idiot kiddo, I need to talk to you now. Don’t bother repeating stuff to El, the thing is broken.” Jason nodded. “You’ve been chosen by this book to compete in a game, let’s say.” Jason nodded again. He relished: answers at long last. “Think of El here as your first Dungeon Key. I’m your Navi. Got it?” Jason nodded again. “Alright. Let’s get to work.”

“I have a questi—no, a couple questions,” began Jason uncertainly.

“Go on,” answered the dog.

“What do you want me to do?”

The dog sighed. “Alright, alright, I’ll give you more context. Look. This guy, Doctor Garch… he was a professor at M.I.T. for a couple decades, took up interactive fiction programming, failed to make it big, and then came over to U.C. Berkeley.”

“Prof Garch?” asked Jason. “I’ve had a class with him! He’s a big fan of the Steelers, but I don’t follow football that much.” The dog glared at Jason, and he shut up.

“Doctor Garch is evil. He is bent on world domination, and he’s starting with Berkeley. See, he got his hands on something a couple years back… let’s call it ‘Code X.’”

“Code X?”

“Let’s put this in terms you’d understand… it’s like the root password to the Maihama Server.”

“You read my blog?!” questioned Jason.

“Inconsequential information,” declared the dachshund. “Anyway, do you understand?” Jason nodded. He understood: Professor Garch had the power to manipulate reality. “Alright. Doctor Garch, like any supervillain, has intentionally left a backdoor key in the hands of his enemies, in order to give them a chance at stopping him.”

“And that’s El.”

“Right.”

“So if I use El to enter Prof Garch’s dungeon, and follow your guidance to defeat him, I can save the world from his reign of terror?”

“That is an accurate analysis of the situation.”

“I have two more questions, though.”

“Shoot.”

“If I jump through whatever hoops and take down Garch, will the sky come back?”

“Yes, and the power grid, too. Next question?”

“Isn’t El God?”

The dog burst out in laughter.

“El? God? No. He’s just an NPC playing a role. The only god right now is the Doctor. Anyway, whenever you’re ready, I can get you started on your quest.”