Once upon a time, though not so long ago, and actually so very recent that it may very well be happening at this very moment, there lived a young man named Flak. What most people do not realize is that Flak is the 223rd richest man alive, and regularly slaps people with tremendous wads of cash. This is why he has no friends.
Flak and the Clerk of the Night
Gueststarring KingCrazyGenius as the Clerk of the Night
It was a blustery day in the beginning of September. Flak was in a tag team match against Generic Giant Robot #47 and the ACLU. His partner was Gojira, and so it took only a few well-aimed blasts of heat vision and radioactive breath to achieve victory. To celebrate this momentous occasion, Flak invited the King of the Monsters to dine with him in New York City. Gojira politely declined, explaining that his wife was ovulating demanded he be home by 8:00 pm. Thus Flak took the next train to New York City with only his own company to keep.
Upon arriving in New York City, Flak came to the nonchalant conclusion that there was no one around. No one, save the mysterious Clerk of the Night, who appeared from the shadows riding a computer keyboard. Flak was caught off-guard by the Clerk of the Night’s sudden appearance from the shadows, and so blasted him with his heat vision. Seconds later, upon seeing that the heat vision did not affect the Clerk of the Night in the least, remembered Newton’s Seventeenth Law, which stated that heat vision won’t affect a Clerk of the Night. This rememberance caused Flak to change tactics, and he invited the Clerk of the Night to dine with him. The Clerk of the Night agreed, and insisted that they attend a pizza place owned by frost giants. Flak on the other hand desired to eat from the world’s largest bowl of ramen.
The Clerk of the Night and Flak argued back and forth on this issue throughout the night whilst throwing their shoes at one another. Just when they finally agreed to eat popcorn shrimp, the sun arose from the horizon and the Clerk of the Night vanished without a trace.