Dreams of the Quill

[DotQ Forum Thread]

I know why you've come.

You've come to kill me, haven't you? Just like the rest. I didn't kill the others, you know. I just sent them back. But you… you're going to make me kill you.

I know that.

You come to me, with all the same arguments as the others. All the false reasoning, all the illogic. You're just like the others, convinced of something that can't be true. The rest of them… they were just fanatics. Zealots. Brainwashed, practically. It's a sad state of affairs, isn't it? But of course, you don't really care about that. You can't see past your own obedience training far enough to understand that.

They say I'm evil… they say I'm evil.

Evil? What's evil, anyway? Would it be evil if I killed a man? What if that man would have killed a dozen others if I hadn't killed him? Is it still evil? Evil is a completely subjective term. A term with no real meaning.

They say I'm evil.

They tell you that I've done terrible things, that I've worked to undermine their great and wonderful civilization. They say that I'm an enemy of stability, an enemy of the world. They say I've killed people, leaders of the world, popular figures. They say I've killed important businessmen, and major members of government.

They say I'm evil.

Do you know what they don't tell you? No, of course you don't—they didn't tell you. And it would never occur to you to look deeper than what they tell you, would it? No, because if you did, you'd realize how badly you've been fooled.

But I'm not making that mistake. I'm looking into what they're not saying. What they don't tell you is that the people I've killed were, to me, evil. They kept slaves—that's evil. They killed innocents—that's evil. They were corrupt and more interested in keeping themselves rich than in preserving the peace, or maintaining happy citizens—that's evil.

But that doesn't matter to you, does it? No more than it mattered to the rest of them. But you… there's something different about why you're here. You're not here because they told you to be, are you? You're here for yourself, for your own selfish beliefs. I can't—

But wait. That's it, isn't it? You still remember, don’t you? You still love me.

That's why you're here. They tell you not to love, to stay detached from everything, but you didn't listen. No, we didn't listen, did we? But…that was then. This is now. You've embraced them, listened to them. And now… you can't face your own betrayal. You can't understand your own love. So you'd kill me, instead?

Now who's evil? You, who fight to kill me for your own selfish cause? Or me, who fights for justice and the lives of innocents?

You're going to make me kill you.

And that's why I cry.

Because I still love you.